英作公開添削にさっそく投稿をいただきました。ありがとうございました。以下、いただいた回答をもとに添削させていただきます。
〈問〉
我が国が国際化時代に入ったことを反映して、わが大学にも最近たくさんの留学生が在籍するようになりました。
いずれもみな勉学に意欲的で、それぞれの国を指導する知識人となることを目指して頑張っています。
彼らの国籍は中国とマレーシアが最も多く、これらの国々からの留学生の数は留学生全体の7割以上を占めています。
Ms.佐藤による回答
Recently many students studying abroad came to be registered to reflect that our county was in the epoch of internationalization in our university too.
All they are very to study,and they try hard for becoming intellectual to lead each countries.
Chinese and Malaysian are the most numerous of students studying abroad on nationality,the number of students studying abroad from these countries hold over 70 percentage in all students studying abroad.
今回は3文ありますので、3文に分けて添削します。
〈第1文:解説と添削回答〉
Recently many students studying abroad came to be registered to reflect that our county was in the epoch of internationalization in our university too.
1.「留学生」の表現
- studying abroadは留学するという意味です。
- many students studying abroad → many foreign students
2.時制
- came to be registered → have come to be registered
- 或いはcome to を省略して have （been） registered
- 現在の状況を説明するには現在形を用いる。
- 現在形には現在進行形も現在完了も含まれます。
- 普通のシンプルな現在形は、不変の真理とか個人の習慣とかを表す場合に用いられます。
3.修飾語の位置
- in our university tooはregisterを修飾しているので、registerの後に置く。
- be registered → be registered in our university, too
- 但し、tooは無くてもよい。
4.不定詞の用法
- to reflect → , which reflects
- 不定詞の副詞的用法に、「～して」と訳すものがありますが、それは必ず前に「驚く」とかのような感情を表す語がある場合です。
- reflectの主語は「多くの留学生が在籍していること」なので、関係代名詞whichを用いる。先行詞は前の節全体です。
5.時制
our county was → our county is
第1文:添削回答
Recently many foreign students have come to be registered in our university, which reflects that our county is in the epoch of internationalization.
〈第2文:解説と添削回答〉
All they are very to study,and they try hard for becoming intellectual to lead each countries.
6.all
- all → all of them
- 例えば「全人類」all human beingsのように不定の名詞を修飾する場合はofは不要ですが、それ以外はof the ～となります。ofはよく省略されます。
7.品詞
- very to study → (very) eager to learn
- veryは副詞なので、補語には使えません。
8.単数・複数
- intellectual → intellectuals
- countries → country
- eachが修飾する名詞は単数
9.不定詞の形容詞的用法
- 形容詞的用法では、ほとんどの場合、修飾される名詞（つまり不定詞の直前の名詞）は不定詞の動詞の目的語で、主語になる場合は稀です。
- 例えば、something to drinkではsomethingはdrinkの目的語です。
- to lead each countries. → who will lead their own countries.
第2文:添削回答
All of them are very eager to learn, and they try (to study) hard for becoming intellectuals who will lead their own countries.
〈第3文:解説と添削回答〉
Chinese and Malaysian are the most numerous of students studying abroad on nationality, the number of students studying abroad from these countries hold over 70 percentage in all students studying abroad.
10.「最も多い」という表現
- Chinese and Malaysian are the most numerous of students studying abroad on nationality, → Chinese and Malaysian students are the majority of them
- Most〔The largest number〕of them are from China and Malaysia
11.接続詞
- the number → , and the number
12.「占める」＝hold？
- 割合を占める」という意味でholdは使わない。
- hold over 70 percentage in all students studying abroad → accounts for over 70 percent of all the international students または amount to over 70 percent of all the international students
第3文:添削回答
The largest number of them are from China and Malaysia, and they account for over 70 percent of all the international students.
又は、Most of them are from China and Malaysia, and the number of the students from these countries amounts to more than 70% of them.
添削回答＜全文＞
Recently many foreign students have come to be registered in our university , which reflects that our county is in the epoch of internationalization . All of them are very eager to learn, and they try (to study) hard for becoming intellectuals who will lead their own countries. Most of them are from China and Malaysia, and the number of the students from these countries amounts to more than 70% of them.
